Grounded, Yet Free

I feel like I'm grounded. I haven't left the house since Thursday night, with the exception of a bike ride. I'm not mad about it, good has come from being cooped up at home as I'll expound later. This weekend a lot of events were cancelled, businesses and roads closed, people encouraged to stay at home, due to hurricane Irene. There's been flooding in the area near to where I live, some people have lost their power, and probably more damage was done but I haven't heard about it all yet. I live on a hill, so am safe from flooding. I'm glad I had to stay home because I had some things to do.

At Merge(the college/career Bible study group I attend), this past week, Jose Rodriguez (the Congregational Care Pastor at Goodwill Evangelical Presbyterian Church) talked to us about identifying and resolving resentment. Oh man, it was so good for me to hear! I didn't think I had much resentment, but I definitely get annoyed and irritated at people and situations, which is how resentment starts. I usually cope by trying to forget about it, minimizing it and telling myself it doesn't really matter(even when it does), or thinking about something else. None of those methods address or resolve the issue, so a similar situation eventually comes up, and again, I don't respond correctly. The pastor talked us through a series of 7 questions, giving examples and applying them to a few specific situations, teaching us how to work through resolving our own resentments. Some points he made that really hit home with me are:

*Putting a demand/unrealistic expectation on a person or thing is selfish

*To be fearful is not trusting God

*We can't take specific situations to the cross to be covered by Jesus' blood if we don't identify them

*The God of the universe can change anything 

*When I speak while I'm angry no one hears anything, "There they go again.."

*Forgiveness gets things right between me and God so I'll be ready to reconcile with the offender

*Behavior modification is me changing my behavior to be accepted in a specific environment, it takes God out of the equation and doesn't address the core issue

Thinking about all that and going through the questions below is some of what occupied my whole weekend at home. I listed the questions below(with permission from Pastor Jose) in case you want to use them. I highly recommend you do so!

-What am I resentful/irritated/annoyed at? 

(narrow it down to one sentence)

-How does that resentment affect me? 

(actions, attitudes, words, emotions, etc)

-Where am I being fearful?

-Where am I being selfish?

-Where am I being dishonest? 

(what lie am I believing?)

-Do I owe someone an apology for how I behaved? 

-Next time I face this situation, how do I need to respond?  

I still have a few issues to go through, there were more than I realized. I just have to say, it brings such freedom to address the things that irk me, identify why, bring them before God and seek His truth, repent from believing lies, wrong thinking and actions. "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

Many thanks to Pastor Jose Rodriguez for these insights.