Grounded, Yet Free

I feel like I'm grounded. I haven't left the house since Thursday night, with the exception of a bike ride. I'm not mad about it, good has come from being cooped up at home as I'll expound later. This weekend a lot of events were cancelled, businesses and roads closed, people encouraged to stay at home, due to hurricane Irene. There's been flooding in the area near to where I live, some people have lost their power, and probably more damage was done but I haven't heard about it all yet. I live on a hill, so am safe from flooding. I'm glad I had to stay home because I had some things to do.

At Merge(the college/career Bible study group I attend), this past week, Jose Rodriguez (the Congregational Care Pastor at Goodwill Evangelical Presbyterian Church) talked to us about identifying and resolving resentment. Oh man, it was so good for me to hear! I didn't think I had much resentment, but I definitely get annoyed and irritated at people and situations, which is how resentment starts. I usually cope by trying to forget about it, minimizing it and telling myself it doesn't really matter(even when it does), or thinking about something else. None of those methods address or resolve the issue, so a similar situation eventually comes up, and again, I don't respond correctly. The pastor talked us through a series of 7 questions, giving examples and applying them to a few specific situations, teaching us how to work through resolving our own resentments. Some points he made that really hit home with me are:

*Putting a demand/unrealistic expectation on a person or thing is selfish

*To be fearful is not trusting God

*We can't take specific situations to the cross to be covered by Jesus' blood if we don't identify them

*The God of the universe can change anything 

*When I speak while I'm angry no one hears anything, "There they go again.."

*Forgiveness gets things right between me and God so I'll be ready to reconcile with the offender

*Behavior modification is me changing my behavior to be accepted in a specific environment, it takes God out of the equation and doesn't address the core issue

Thinking about all that and going through the questions below is some of what occupied my whole weekend at home. I listed the questions below(with permission from Pastor Jose) in case you want to use them. I highly recommend you do so!

-What am I resentful/irritated/annoyed at? 

(narrow it down to one sentence)

-How does that resentment affect me? 

(actions, attitudes, words, emotions, etc)

-Where am I being fearful?

-Where am I being selfish?

-Where am I being dishonest? 

(what lie am I believing?)

-Do I owe someone an apology for how I behaved? 

-Next time I face this situation, how do I need to respond?  

I still have a few issues to go through, there were more than I realized. I just have to say, it brings such freedom to address the things that irk me, identify why, bring them before God and seek His truth, repent from believing lies, wrong thinking and actions. "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

Many thanks to Pastor Jose Rodriguez for these insights.

Time flies...so did I

Last month I got to visit my family and friends in Oregon! I was able to go on the same flight as my sister and brother-in-law who live in Philadelphia. It was so nice to travel with them. Our visit was wonderful and chock full of catching up with friends and extended family, our first immediate family reunion in gorgeous Sunriver, recording a few songs on a cd with my siblings, singing at our church, and being active in the great Oregon outdoors! I thoroughly enjoyed the time there, but at the same time looked forward to coming back to NY. My time here so far has been amazing in many ways. I've struggled with being away from home, family, and friends, but know God wants me here. He clearly opened the doors for me to come and continues to confirm that being here is His will for me. I'm so thankful for that and recognizing it gives me peace in moments of stress, homesickness, and frustration. I originally committed to my job for 6 months, but recently committed to another 6, ending in March 2012. I get to see all 4 seasons here!

To follow-up on my second to last post, I occasionally use shampoo, still use vinegar to clean, made it through the softball season without serious injury and with lots of good memories, and am happy to report I haven't had any more run-ins with forest rangers! 

Sadly, I wasn't able to finish P90X. In my second to last week of the 90 days I hurt my hamstring playing a group game. I rested it for a week and it didn't feel much better, so I got it checked out by the massage therapist I mentioned previously. She was most helpful, gave me the advice I needed to rehab it, and told me what activities to avoid during the healing process. It's been hard to restrain myself from going on a run, but I've held off, knowing that resting it now means I'll most likely to be able to return to it when it heals. I'd really like it to be completely healed so I can be active the rest of my life, instead of pushing it now and reaping the consequences later. I'm going back to the therapist soon, to see if it's healed!

I'm so thankful for my church. I've started singing on the praise team. It means a lot to be able to sing and worship with fellow believers there. I've also joined the youth group as a leader. We've had some fun, encouraging, crazy, and edifying times together this summer.

I've been on several more hikes, with good company, viewing spectacular scenery. One of the hikes was on the Mohonk Preserve, up to the world-famous Mohonk Mountain House. It was impressive. We hiked all the way up to a tower which is the highest point in this area. It was fantastic to reach that famous landmark, but also cool because I can see the tower afar off from the house where I live. Most days I take the baby out for a walk and see the tower on top of the range of Shawangunk mountains. I especially love seeing it now, knowing what it's like at the top. 

I'm heading for bed now, have a full day of work tomorrow, then plan to go bowling with friends!