Happy Mother's Day Ma!

I asked my ma how I could make her day special, her response was, "Update your blog." Right, about that. It's been on my to do list, just things have been going so fast I haven't set aside the time to do so. Until now.

I have been sooo blessed by my family. More recently I've realized how much they've impacted, supported, and influenced me throughout my life, highlighted now by living far away from them. The past few weeks my schedule has been booked and a bit demanding so I've had a couple meltdowns in which I called my ma in tears, needing to talk it out and get a fresh perspective. No major crisis is happening, for which I am very thankful. The stress comes from being involved in many things, which comes from my variety of interests and passions, fueled by the desire to get to know people better, trying to fill that ever-present hunger for deep, genuine, and meaningful relationships, like I had when I lived near my family and close friends. All that to say, I am so grateful that God put me into the family He did, and that we can communicate(via technology), even though we're many miles apart.

I'm writing from Philadelphia. I spent this weekend with Luke and Liz(my sister and brother-in-law). It's been quite refreshing and comforting to be with them.
My last two trips down here were during my Christmas vacation and then in March, to attend a conference at their church. Luke's mom and brother joined us for Christmas vacation. We had some fantastic experiences together. Among them were: seeing the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibition in NYC, doing the tourist thing in NYC, eating in some fine restaurants in downtown Philadelphia, seeing The Adventures of Tin-tin in 3D, exploring the Franklin Institute(an interactive science center in Philly), enjoying the excellent Christmas music and services at 10th Presbyterian Church, and greeting our family in Oregon via Skype on Christmas Eve.
In March, 10th Presbyterian Church hosted an Urban Ministry Conference. Liz asked me ahead of time if I wanted to come down to volunteer and attend. She's responsible for many of the events and conferences at that church, so was going to be very involved. After looking at my calender and checking out the information on the conference, I took her up on the offer. Of course it was a great weekend. The conference was packed with encouragement, practical instruction and many resources for reaching out to spiritually and physically broken and hurting people. It gave me a lot to think about. Probably the talk that impacted me the most was on true compassion, the kind Jesus showed to those He encountered while on this earth. He saw, cared for, and addressed people's deepest needs. He knew rightly relating them to God was the key for any kind of positive change. But He didn't ignore their physical needs and condition.
Back in NY I was given the opportunity to be involved in a local ministry to homeless families, through a national program called Family Promise. I'll go into more detail about it later, but just wanted to mention it.

I'm still in Philadelphia, planning to drive back to NY within the next half hour, so am going to sign out for now. I hope you all enjoyed some special family time today, appreciating and honoring your mothers. They are the best!

Philly, friends, snow, and Oregon

Picking up where I left off last post, my visit to Philly was great! On my past visits there I've taken the train. This time I drove. It was my first time using a GPS. It was also dark since I left Friday night after finishing work. I took a few wrong turns due to unclear markings and exits placed very close together, but I arrived later that night, safe and sound. Liz, my sister and I had good success shopping the next day, enjoyed our time together, and even squeezed in lunch, between stores. We made a tasty dinner when we got home and had a couple of their friends over. We attended 10th Presbyterian church on Sunday, where Liz works and Luke, my brother-in-law, is interning in the music department. A man from England recently became their head pastor. He's a powerful preacher, has a lively personality, and a nice accent. My sister introduced me to him, she is his assistant. The first time I visited their church many months ago, I was a little uneasy. The liturgical format and overall formality was unfamiliar to me and the people seemed aloof. This time was different. I enjoyed it more, was able to appreciate the depth and reverence of God contained in the music, teaching, and way they conducted the service. Hearing about my sister and brother-in-laws involvement at the church in the months between my visits, as well as learning some of the reasons behind the elements of the service helped me connect with and better understand the church as a whole. After the service Liz and I walked to a famous park downtown while Luke finished his responsibilities at church. We sat on a bench in the sun and chatted as we watched people stroll by, along the gravel path. A family was playing baseball in the grass behind us. Several times their ball rolled or was hit out of the "field", onto the path in front of us. A few times I or the other people in the area  fetched it and tossed it back. It was neat to experience a little bit of community in the heart of a big city. When Luke joined us we all walked to Max Brenner, a restaurant obsessed with chocolate. Although I do love good chocolate, I ordered a burger instead, due to being quite hungry. Luke and Liz ordered sweeter selections and let me sample them. That afternoon, I drove back to NY. It was a much more pleasant drive than the one on Friday night. This time I could see where I was going, enjoy the fall foliage and sunshine, as well as some beautiful countryside.
When I arrived in NY, after taking my bags to my room, I decided to fit in a run before heading to bed. I'd already been barefoot running in the neighborhood where I live a few times the previous week. I started out, down the grassy hill, with a clear view of the moon. It was lovely. I ran in front of the other houses, made a loop and was heading back when suddenly a sharp pain struck my foot. It felt like my arch landed on a rock, an occasional occurrence when I run barefoot. I grimaced and kept going, figuring the pain would lessen as I went on, as usual. It didn't. I slowed down and started limping, eventually getting to the end of the driveway. I walked up on the grass, then stretched for a few minutes before going inside. At some point while I was stretching I looked down and saw drips of blood. Oooh. That's why it hurt so much. I looked at the bottom of my foot and sure enough, there was a deep cut. After stopping the bleeding, I cleaned and covered it. I ate dinner, showered, and went to bed, hoping it would heal a lot while I slept. It was pretty tender the next morning so I limped around all day. I had a pretty hard day. I was feeling extra homesick and missing my family, especially since I'd been with my sister over the weekend but now was nowhere near any of my family. I needed to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone. The ear ache I'd had for over a week was the worst it'd been, and didn't seem like it was going away. I decided I would go to a walk-in health clinic after work to get it, along with my foot, checked. My friend Eileen stepped in to save the day by randomly inviting me to meet her for ice cream and a chat, as soon as I finished work. It was just what I needed. She asked why I was limping so I told her the story of my cut and when she heard that my ear was still hurting she offered to go with me to get them both checked at the clinic. We got our ice cream to go, then drove to the clinic. We had to wait a while, but after I filled out the required paperwork we had our chat. We both had some things we needed to process and talk through, it was so nice to have someone trustworthy and willing to do so. After I was taken care of, Eileen suggested we stop to get a quick dinner, since it was getting late and we were both hungry and tired. McDonalds was the place. My ear ache, which turned out to be a painful, swollen case of swimmer's ear, cleared up in a few days after I took the prescribed drops. I got a tetnus shot since I didn't know what I cut my foot on and hadn't ever had one.

Eileen and her husband, Walt, have blessed and supported me in many ways. We attend the same church so sometimes we talk after the service or go out to lunch. I've gone to their house several times for a home-cooked family dinner with their grown kids, which always includes good conversation and many laughs. That's one thing I really miss not being able to do with my family, so it means a lot to experience that with a family here. Walt and Eileen also welcome me to "be real" with them. We've had some great heart-to-heart talks about theology, church, family, guys and relationships, education, music, and more. One time in particular I was in a bit of turmoil about a few personal situations. They listened, gave their feedback, advice, and perspective and it helped so much! I am so thankful God brought them into my life. He is so faithful to provide what I need.

I made another trip to see Luke and Liz at the end of October. I knew a storm, with possible snow was coming. It was forecasted to come on Saturday, so I planned to drive down right after work on Friday. I'd worked several extra hours earlier in the week so got off early Friday afternoon. The hitch was, Thursday night, several things went wrong with the car I planned to drive down to Philadelphia. I got a couple of them taken care of, but one thing I couldn't fix myself were the burnt out turn signal bulbs. The nearby mechanic shop didn't have an opening. I was debating about whether or not I should make the trip since driving without them, especially in the dark, would be dangerous. Before completely giving up on the trip I decided to check with a couple of my guy friends who work on cars, to ask them where I could buy bulbs and who I should get to install them. Two of them offered to do it for me! Jake, a friend from church, was available first so I packed my stuff and headed out to meet him, planning to head to Philly right after he replaced them. He did a bang up job and sent me on my way. Being the second time I'd driven down to Philly, it was much smoother. The next day it snowed! Yes, snow in October. I heard from my friends in NY that they got 12 inches. Some lost power and a few were snowed in. The roads had been cleared by Sunday afternoon so I was able to safely drive back to NY. It was so pretty, with the snow lining the highway and dusted on the trees. I had a wonderful weekend with Luke and Liz, with a lot of needed down time.

As soon as my foot healed up enough to put pressure on it I started running again, occasionally making it up to the spectacilar mountain trails. A couple weekends ago I went on an all-day hike with my friend Jen. It was so great to have so much time to talk while also getting great exercise, breathing in the fresh mountain air. and taking in all the beautiful scenery.
Another good friend, Emily, has been a perfect companion with which to watch mostly old, classic movies. We've also gone to game nights, played Ultimate Frisbee, square danced, sung around the campfire, and talked a lot about life together. Growing up with three older, wise sisters was invaluable to me. She's helped fill that role, since I'm away from my sisters. Last month we were given the privilege of singing at our church. She taught me a song composed by one of her friends. It's about the true and living God, and Jesus being the Way, the Truth, and the Life. She played the piano and we both sang, it was so nice to proclaim that reality in such a powerful, peaceful way.

I'm writing from the air, on the plane back to NY, from Oregon. I came home to see my family and friends for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful to be with them. The airport is a bit of a drive from where I live in NY so I was bemoaning the hassle of transportation, since I planned to take the train or a bus or something, Walt and Eileen offered to take me! So after work on Friday I went over to their house for dinner and we decorated their Christmas tree with their kids. Oh what joy! Walt brought out his guitar, started playing and singing Christmas songs, and then came the stories of Christmas memories and traditions. The next morning we headed out bright and early for the airport. I had a safe flight and was in Oregon that afternoon. My good friends Jordan and Sara were so kind to pick me up from the airport, which is also a bit of a drive from my hometown. They warmly welcomed me, we chatted it up the whole drive home, then met up with Elise, the 4th member of our little groupie, in my hometown for dinner at one of our favorite places. During my visit I got to see a lot of my extended family, immediate family, and close friends, as well as people at church. It was great to see and hear my pastor speak in person. I've been keeping up with his sermons by listening to them online. I got to sing in choir with my mom and brother, it was so good. I gained a fresh perspective of my current season of life by having some time to process, pray about and discuss the past few months with my parents, sisters and friends . I'm looking forward to more new, good, and challenging experiences as a nanny in NY.

Fall happenings

Last month I was on TV! On September 10th I had the opportunity to be in the studio audience of the Huckabee Report, with Mike Huckabee. I traveled down to NYC, where the show was filmed, with Merge(college/career group) and all of us  participated in the entertaining yet sobering experience. Since it was the day before the 10th anniversary of the attack at the World Trade Center, remembering that day was the theme of the show. There were a variety of special guests, including a search and rescue dog and a man who was in the World Trade Center when it was hit and miraculously survived. It was neat to see a lot of what goes into the production of a show and what takes place behind the scenes. After the show we walked around the streets of NYC, shopped at a few store, took the subway to Ground Zero, ate dinner, then headed back home on the train. I really enjoyed the unique parts of the day as well as getting to know people in the group better.

The following weekend, some of us from Merge volunteered for the Military Family Appreciation Day at Stewart Airforce Base. It was a smashing success. Our group was assigned to make balloon animals for the kids. I was one of a few from our group who was drafted to instruct and lead kids through the inflatable bounce house games. Whew, 5 hours of excitedly yelling directions to kids, cheering them on, balancing on the inflatable structures, and standing in the hot sun was quite tiring, yet completely worth it. From what I could tell, the recipients really enjoyed it and several expressed their appreciation for the volunteers. I told them we were very grateful for them and their service for our country. It was nice to be able to give something back to them for all their work and sacrifice. 

Our current study at Merge is The Truth Project, from Focus on the Family. This is my third time going through the series, but it's content is so deep and profound that I'm still learning a lot and being challenged. The series presents a thorough Biblical worldview along with opinions from a diverse panel of people with varied beliefs, stating conflicting world views. It's been so good and helpful for me, I have a lot more to learn and process. My favorite quote from the series is: "Do you really believe that what you believe is really real?"

If I do, my life will reflect that. My recurring response is, "Lord, change me!"- as my Sunday school teacher in Oregon often said.

The baby I nanny is doing well. The development, changes, and milestones are increasing rapidly, it's exciting to be part of it. We're enjoying going to story time with other babies and toddlers at our local library, as well as participating in a wonderful music and movement class. It is so nice to take the baby out in the town, see her learn and interact with others, and get to know some moms, kids, and nannies in our area.

Good news, I can run again! I started two weeks ago, it has been so good to get out and do one of my favorite things, in a beautiful place. I haven't run on the mountain trails in the past two weeks, but hope to make it up there soon. The leaves are changing, the air is cooling down, fall is here!  

Last Saturday I savored the fall scenery, the trees full of changing leaves, rolling hills, farms, as I drove with friends to a town about 3 hours away to move them back down to this area. I love driving in general, but vehicles with manual transmissions are even more enjoyable for me than those with automatic. I don't get the opportunity to drive a manual often, but last Saturday was one of those rare occasions. After we loaded up the cars with the remains that didn't fit into the moving truck, we each got into a vehicle to make the drive back down. I drove a pretty new Kia Soul, which is similar to my favorite car, a Honda Element. It was a blast!

I'm looking forward to visiting my sister and brother-in-law next weekend in Philadelphia. My sister and I are planning to shop for specific fall clothing items! It will be great to see another part of the East Coast in the fall.

I'd love to hear from you, drop me a note if you have time.

Grounded, Yet Free

I feel like I'm grounded. I haven't left the house since Thursday night, with the exception of a bike ride. I'm not mad about it, good has come from being cooped up at home as I'll expound later. This weekend a lot of events were cancelled, businesses and roads closed, people encouraged to stay at home, due to hurricane Irene. There's been flooding in the area near to where I live, some people have lost their power, and probably more damage was done but I haven't heard about it all yet. I live on a hill, so am safe from flooding. I'm glad I had to stay home because I had some things to do.

At Merge(the college/career Bible study group I attend), this past week, Jose Rodriguez (the Congregational Care Pastor at Goodwill Evangelical Presbyterian Church) talked to us about identifying and resolving resentment. Oh man, it was so good for me to hear! I didn't think I had much resentment, but I definitely get annoyed and irritated at people and situations, which is how resentment starts. I usually cope by trying to forget about it, minimizing it and telling myself it doesn't really matter(even when it does), or thinking about something else. None of those methods address or resolve the issue, so a similar situation eventually comes up, and again, I don't respond correctly. The pastor talked us through a series of 7 questions, giving examples and applying them to a few specific situations, teaching us how to work through resolving our own resentments. Some points he made that really hit home with me are:

*Putting a demand/unrealistic expectation on a person or thing is selfish

*To be fearful is not trusting God

*We can't take specific situations to the cross to be covered by Jesus' blood if we don't identify them

*The God of the universe can change anything 

*When I speak while I'm angry no one hears anything, "There they go again.."

*Forgiveness gets things right between me and God so I'll be ready to reconcile with the offender

*Behavior modification is me changing my behavior to be accepted in a specific environment, it takes God out of the equation and doesn't address the core issue

Thinking about all that and going through the questions below is some of what occupied my whole weekend at home. I listed the questions below(with permission from Pastor Jose) in case you want to use them. I highly recommend you do so!

-What am I resentful/irritated/annoyed at? 

(narrow it down to one sentence)

-How does that resentment affect me? 

(actions, attitudes, words, emotions, etc)

-Where am I being fearful?

-Where am I being selfish?

-Where am I being dishonest? 

(what lie am I believing?)

-Do I owe someone an apology for how I behaved? 

-Next time I face this situation, how do I need to respond?  

I still have a few issues to go through, there were more than I realized. I just have to say, it brings such freedom to address the things that irk me, identify why, bring them before God and seek His truth, repent from believing lies, wrong thinking and actions. "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." John 8:36

Many thanks to Pastor Jose Rodriguez for these insights.

Time flies...so did I

Last month I got to visit my family and friends in Oregon! I was able to go on the same flight as my sister and brother-in-law who live in Philadelphia. It was so nice to travel with them. Our visit was wonderful and chock full of catching up with friends and extended family, our first immediate family reunion in gorgeous Sunriver, recording a few songs on a cd with my siblings, singing at our church, and being active in the great Oregon outdoors! I thoroughly enjoyed the time there, but at the same time looked forward to coming back to NY. My time here so far has been amazing in many ways. I've struggled with being away from home, family, and friends, but know God wants me here. He clearly opened the doors for me to come and continues to confirm that being here is His will for me. I'm so thankful for that and recognizing it gives me peace in moments of stress, homesickness, and frustration. I originally committed to my job for 6 months, but recently committed to another 6, ending in March 2012. I get to see all 4 seasons here!

To follow-up on my second to last post, I occasionally use shampoo, still use vinegar to clean, made it through the softball season without serious injury and with lots of good memories, and am happy to report I haven't had any more run-ins with forest rangers! 

Sadly, I wasn't able to finish P90X. In my second to last week of the 90 days I hurt my hamstring playing a group game. I rested it for a week and it didn't feel much better, so I got it checked out by the massage therapist I mentioned previously. She was most helpful, gave me the advice I needed to rehab it, and told me what activities to avoid during the healing process. It's been hard to restrain myself from going on a run, but I've held off, knowing that resting it now means I'll most likely to be able to return to it when it heals. I'd really like it to be completely healed so I can be active the rest of my life, instead of pushing it now and reaping the consequences later. I'm going back to the therapist soon, to see if it's healed!

I'm so thankful for my church. I've started singing on the praise team. It means a lot to be able to sing and worship with fellow believers there. I've also joined the youth group as a leader. We've had some fun, encouraging, crazy, and edifying times together this summer.

I've been on several more hikes, with good company, viewing spectacular scenery. One of the hikes was on the Mohonk Preserve, up to the world-famous Mohonk Mountain House. It was impressive. We hiked all the way up to a tower which is the highest point in this area. It was fantastic to reach that famous landmark, but also cool because I can see the tower afar off from the house where I live. Most days I take the baby out for a walk and see the tower on top of the range of Shawangunk mountains. I especially love seeing it now, knowing what it's like at the top. 

I'm heading for bed now, have a full day of work tomorrow, then plan to go bowling with friends!

61 years

Today my dad turned 61. Let me tell you, they have been quite the years, getting better as they increase, as I'm sure he'd agree. I am so thankful for him. He always encourages me to take advantage of the adventures I'm presented with, yet also make time to rest and be refreshed. I am so glad God changed his heart to be open to having more than four kids(I am the fifth of his six), which was all he thought he could afford. My childhood was wonderful, full of meaningful family times together. Even today he continues to fill a vital role in my life. He's always ready and eager to listen, gives me wise counsel, and is quick to express his love for me and encourage me in my current stage of life. I don't think I would be on this adventure in NY if he hadn't played the part that he did. Thank you dad, I love you.

Living like a hippie, softball rookie, and ranger scare

This post is long overdue, sorry for the delay. I've been adjusting to working full-time, living away from family, doing new things and meeting new people, while doing my best to keep up with the P90X schedule, get enough sleep and spend quality time with people, including my Heavenly Father. It's been quite challenging.

The two towns I live between remind me of Eugene, my hometown, in a lot of ways. Some of the more "natural" people here have influenced me already. I haven't washed my hair for a week, eat a lot of vegetables, make hummus, grow spouts, and use vinegar to clean instead of common cleaning products containing chemicals. One of my friends from the Campus Crusade group gave a persuasive speech in a class recently about the harm to hair and on the environment from chemicals in shampoo. After hearing some of the information I decided to jump on the bandwagon. It's not as disgusting as it sounds. I still rinse it daily, just don't use shampoo which strips hair of its natural oil. Incorporating the healthy additions to my diet have been pretty fun, make me feel more alive, and help me perform better and recover faster from the P90X workouts. Vinegar works so well as a cleaner, I had no idea! And it's cheap, so that's cool.

The church I attend has a men's Softball team that plays in a league with other local churches. I heard about it a few months ago and thought it sounded like fun, but sadly, it is a men's team and I am not a man. I soon found out that each team is allowed up to two female teammates. For those of you who don't know, I'm not a softball player. I've played a few times in PE class, but rarely was able to hit the ball, couldn't throw very far or slide into base. Pretty much the only part I could do justice was run. That and yell, usually when they were chasing me with the ball.  A few weeks ago, the coach of my church team (who I know from the Campus Crusade group) asked if I'd like to join the team. I laughed. He explained that they don't always have enough players show up to the games to make a full team so I'd be a valuable player merely by showing up. I decided to go to practice and give it a try. I enjoyed the two practices I was able to attend. I like the athletic and team sport aspects of it as well as the challenge of it all, and the coach and fellow teammates were most helpful in giving me tips and advice. Our first game was this past week. Beforehand I was pretty nervous, but it felt good, similar to pre-race jitters. I played about half the game since we had a full team plus a few extras show up. I stopped a couple balls in outfield and actually hit the ball when I was up to bat! I have a lot of improvement to make, but it was a good start to the season.

Now for the ranger scare abbreviated story. Last week I went hiking in a state park with a group of girls from the Campus Crusade group. Shortly into our hike a few girls from the group broke a park rule that none of us were aware was a rule. Two rangers showed up out of the blue and harped on the girls for a good half hour, additionally falsely accusing them of some things as well as threatening to enforce an array of penalties, most of which we later found out were not applicable to the misdemeanor. All that to say, it was a sad, disappointing, and disheartening experience. That two grown men in authority would treat a group of young, well-intentioned girls the way they did was somewhat astonishing. Granted, I don't know their personalities, past experience, or all their job responsibility entails. If I did, I might understand more why they responded the way they did.
Later that day, it happened to be Mother's Day, I talked to several of my family members back home and ended up crying when they asked me how I was doing. The confrontation at the park shook me up more than I realized and was the last straw. I'd been keeping a lot of emotions and stress to myself. It was good, although pretty painful, to let it out and begin processing.

On a more positive note, I'm continuing to make connections at church and in the community. It's so nice and refreshing to start to get to know people and see some of them regularly.
For the privacy of the family I work for, I haven't and don't plan to include many details about them. But I will say the baby I care for is in an exciting stage right now. Well, exciting in baby world. She's starting to eat food, stay awake longer, make more vocal sounds, and pay attention to books being read. It's a blessing to be with her, witness so many special moments, along with her daily development.
Thanks for reading. Goodnight.